NaPoWriMo Day 14

 Hello!

So today's challenge is to write a poem about the meaning of your name.  You might not be aware, but Attentea is not my real name, it's my screen name, and a made up name at that, so it doesn't have a meaning other than it's me.  So I'll be using my real first name, Amanda, for today's poetry prompt.   When I was young I received a mug as a birthday present that was customized and had my name and it's meaning.  Amanda, worthy of love.   I've always though that was so beautiful and it made me feel so special.  Such a great meaning of a name in my opinion.  But I also have anxiety and often I don't feel worthy of love, or at the very least that I need to prove that I am worthy of love.  This is the idea that I chose to explore in today's poem.  The idea that my name says that I'm worthy of love, but I don't always feel that way. 
As for structure, you'll notice I use two different forms in this poem.  I wanted to physically represent the normal thoughts vs the anxious thoughts.  Normally I don't like to mix styles like this, but for this poem I feel it works really well.   Enjoy!

Amanda

"She's beautiful" they said the day I was born. 
She will be worthy of love. 
Our Amanda. 

But am I really worthy?
What have I done to deserve your love?

I'm really not that special
Not grand or super smart
Not the tallest or the fastest
Nor have the biggest heart

I'm actually quite lazy
when I know I should be working
And rather than socializing
you'll often find me lurking

Simple concepts can confuse me
Unless you explain them right
And if you always question my choices
You're in for a hell of a fight. 

What accomplishments do I have?
What great things have I done?
I could have done so much more
instead of goof off and have fun. 

What have I done to be worthy of your love?
I can be better. 
Let me prove to you that I am Amanda. 

Thanks for reading!